Matthew 5:23-24 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you. Leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”
When I come before the altar of God in prayer what do I bring as an offering? Do I bring Him my best? Or, do I only bring Him my mess? As I look at my offerings, I see that I am in debt to my Lord. I bring Him little praise and adoration, and lots of complaints and whines! Those times that were real and sacrificial were the most acceptable!
As a child, I gave my joy of life in song, dance and drama solely unto Him as my audience.
He was pleased.
As a teen, I gave Him my innocence and purity devotedly.
He was pleased.
As an adult, I put away childish things and began to see the world I was in and the fantasies it held. My time at the altar became a duty of church attendance once a week! Others were in my life that didn’t know or relate to the God I knew and loved…and they brought compromise.
I broke His heart.
As a prodigal child, I remembered the days when He was my God…and I came back offering myself as a servant; repenting of my idolatry and desiring to be my best for Him again.
He was pleased again.
For many years I gave Him my service and worked hard striving to gain His favor…striving to attain my best for Him. I became…self-righteous.
He was patient.
In the year 1989, my test of faith began. It was the hardest test of my life. I had to do it on my own…I felt deserted and rejected and so alone that I doubted and questioned the reason for this. I knew it was a test like Peter’s, but I knew what Peter didn’t – I knew why Jesus appeared like one he didn’t know – he didn’t know Him as Savior. I did! And, I knew He promised to be with me always – I could do anything with Him! But, I found myself horrifyingly alone - for the first time in my life…He wasn’t there! I felt like I imagined Jesus on the cross when He said: “My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?”
The difference? He was God and He had to be separated because of the SIN that He was paying the price for…for the whole world. He was suppose to do that and die and be raised from the dead and would be with The Father again. I knew that intellectually and believed it – but I was in the here and now AFTER that…and why did I feel forsaken when He had promised not to leave me?
I found myself being consumed by darkness and falling as in slow motion down a shaft in the center of the earth. When I reached the bottom I was crying out those same words that seemed so appropriate: “My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?”
As I slumbered there, motionless with exhaustion from crying, I tried reasoning and searching my mind for something – anything, that could explain. I began to cry out in great desperation at the thought of being so alone – more than alone – completely deserted and betrayed by the One I had given my ALL to. Why would He do this? Why would He allow this? What kind of test was this? It was unfair!
Lying on the bottom of doom, I sorted the facts as I could see them and came to the conclusion that it must have ALL been an illusion. God must have been just a huge fictitious figment of my imagination! But, if there is NO GOD – what is there? I know there is a devil for he has been too real. So, what do I believe?
Conclusion – I’d rather believe there is a God and risk being wrong, than to believe there is no God and risk being wrong! It’s a matter of gaining ALL or losing ALL. With that grain of faith (I remembered He said that’s all it takes) I began to come to my senses. In utter shame, I stretched out face down and begged God to become real to me again and show me His love that I longed for more than anything.
I began to rise from my darkness and awoke driving my car and feeling a sense of some unknown mystery on the horizon. At this thought, a pre-historic grasshopper appeared on my windshield…and the rest has been told…
So much to be learned from the test I passed – The Test of Faith. Was I ever alone? Did He desert me? Jesus said to Peter – and to me: “I have prayed that you won’t lose faith. When you turn again – help your brothers.”
He was there!
In the year 2005 was the beginning of a new life – The Maker’s (life) Diet, a life commitment and a mission: The Lord spoke to me; “Get your body healthy…and then My Body healthy!”
He spoke new words.
July 4, 2009 was my Birthday Celebration of Praise to my God. I was 65 years old naturally, 50 years old spiritually and it had been 30 years since making a life commitment to give God my best for Him. It was my very best unto Him and Him alone!
He was very pleased!
Today, April 27, 2013 my offering and delight is only to be diligent in pleasing Him by giving my very best and being a witness unto Him until He returns for His Bride to take us Home!
Maranatha!
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